1) Let kids fail
2) Be soft on the outside but hard on the inside
3) Let kids be independent according to their age
4) when a child is young, parents should impart on them that they are loved and special.
The message to your kids between 1 and 10 is “you are loved, you are valued, you are safe.” You can do anything, you are special, you can be anything you want to be.
But between 11 and 20 the message should be “life is difficult, you are not that important, it’s not all about you.” You can’t be anything you want to be…you can be anything you are talented to do and willing to work hard to do, and you are entitled to nothing–not a six figure income, not a free education, not a certain standard of living. Nothing.
Prepare them for a life where they don’t need Mom and Dad.